Jealousy Pain and Heartbreak
by StolenxRomance
Summary: She loved him so much that it scared her into thinking that she could lose him at any moment. This fear, not trusting his heart to keep loving her the way she desired him to, caused her to lose the only man she’d ever love in this way. Talk about irony.
1. Chapter 1

"_**I know it may be hard to love me, but can you at least try?"**_

Ginny Weasley sat alone in the Gryffindor common room drinking some hot tea that Dobby had brought her. It was mid-January and it was nice to lounge by a warm fire as snow fluttered outside the stained-glass windows.

Harry had gone to the library with Ron and Hermione. Ginny was fine with Harry being around them because they had all been friends since their first year. However, she knew Cho Chang would also be in the library, studying for one of her classes.

A flashback of Harry's fourth year, her third, flew by. Harry had wished to take Cho to the Yule Ball more than anything. He had been so occupied fantasizing about her that he had not even noticed how much Ginny longed to be his.

Tears of jealousy began to sting Ginny's eyes as she pondered what could be going on in that library. Hidden, secret kisses being stolen behind a deserted shelf, possibly. She knew she was overreacting. Cho was an old infatuation, nothing more. Harry was Ginny's now, but she couldn't help but be jealous.

_**-Love can be an addiction, but it's impossible to quit-**_


	2. Chapter 2

"**Sometimes love is addiction/**

**Sometimes it hurts like hell and/**

**Sometimes you just can't get enough"**

When Harry returned from the library after curfew along with Hermione and Ron, Ginny was displeased.

"Harry, you told me you'd be back _hours_ ago," Ginny pointed out. "I want to know what took you so long in that bloody library!"

"We were doing homework, love. Chill," replied Harry who seemed slightly annoyed by Ginny's anger.

"Don't tell me to chill! I've been worried about you for the past three hours and you tell me to chill?" Ginny shouted, getting more pissed off as time passed.

"What could have happened? My ass falls asleep and me not being able to stand up? Seriously, Ginny… I was alright. Plus, Ron and Hermione were there."

Ginny stormed off, not wanting to show the tears of hate building up behind her amber eyes.

"Sheesh. What's her problem?" Ron inquired.

"Not a damn clue." Harry answered.

"I'll go talk to her," Hermione offered.

"Ginny," Hermione knocked on the girl's dormitory door. "It's Hermione. Can I come in?"

"If you must!" Ginny shouted through the door.

Hermione gently opened the door and peeked her head through to see where Ginny was located. She then quickly entered the room, carefully shutting the door behind her. "Are you okay? You're not acting like yourself."

"What the hell were you guys doing in the library for so long?"

"We were studying. We have a big potion's test tomorrow. You know how Snape is."

Ginny shrugged as if Hermione's words had no significance what so ever. Why should she trust the words of her best friend when her gut instincts told her something else was up? "Was Cho down there?"

"Oh. I get it."

"Get what?"

"You're jealous."

"Am not."

"Don't deny it."

"I'm not."

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not!"

"Ginny…be realistic. You're not just pissed because we were in the library for an extra hour or two. You're jealous because you thought Harry was going behind your back to see Cho. Well here's some news. Harry loves you, not Cho. Cho was an infatuation that ended over a year ago, and you need to end your suspicion soon or you're going to lose him."

Hermione exited the room leaving Ginny with a stunned expression.

Ginny mumbled to herself, "the nerve of that girl…too bad she might be right."

"Harry, we need to talk." Ginny walked into the boy's dormitory to find Harry lounging on his bed reading a Quidditch magazine.

"About what?"

"Us."

"Oh…okay. What's wrong?"

"Do you love me?"

"Of course I do! How could you ever think that I don't?"

" I don't know… I guess I just have this feeling that something's wrong. Y'know?"

"Uhm…Not really. Sorry. Could you elaborate a little bit more for me, please?"

"I feel like I'm losing you. I don't want to lose you, Harry. I love you more than anything."

"Why do you think you're losing me?" Harry sat up as he asked the question. He could not believe the words passing between them. He felt his temper start to rise.

"I just feel like you're eyeing someone else, I guess."

"Like who in the bloody hell would I be fancying?"

"Cho."

There was a moment of silence. Harry was choosing his wording very carefully, Ginny could tell. He was about to lose it. All the anger that was being built up about to explode. "Why the fuck would I fancy Cho? Cho! OF ALL PEOPLE CHO! Are you bloody insane?"

Tears started to well up in Ginny's eyes as Harry screamed at her. He didn't mean to scream. He just couldn't help himself. "I…I…don't know…" She managed to say.

"Ginny, _obviously_ you cannot trust me. Therefore, I do not trust you."

"Which…means…what?" She said in between sobs.

"We're over."

"**Fate turns cruel/  
You're on your knees/  
So desperate for one truth/  
Know that I have loved you."**

Lyrics—1.Ashlee Simpson

2.Jessica Simpson


	3. Chapter 3

"'**Cause I'm so in love with what we were**

**I'm not breathing I'm suffocating without you**

**Do you feel it too?"**

Ginny could not sleep, she could not eat, and she sure as hell couldn't stop crying. _"It will all get better, I'll get him back," _she'd tell herself even though she didn't believe her own words.

"Maybe you should just apologize?" Hermione suggested.

"And say what? 'Sorry Harry. I'm sorry I didn't trust your heart and I accused you of cheating on me with Cho.' Honestly, Hermione! Even the most unintelligent person could tell you it wouldn't work," Ginny retorted.

"She does have a point you know," Ron chimed in toward Hermione. "And besides, he has it set in his mind. He's never going to forgive her."

"Great Ron, now look what you've done!" Hermione yelled at Ron as more tears started streaming down Ginny's already tear-stained face.

She couldn't take the torture anymore. She had to go find Harry. Ginny had to look into his eyes—those beautiful, electrifying, green eyes—and apologize.

She walked into the common room, only hesitating a bit. She saw him lounging by the fire and braced herself; This was her chance. "Harry?" she called out to him from across the room. He didn't respond. "Harry, will you please talk to me?" She called out once more as she started walking closer to where he was sitting. No answer. He didn't even acknowledge her presence.

She sat alone in her window, pondering what to do as she gazed into the soft moonlight. _"Maybe I could write him a letter? This way, I can at least have the opportunity to figure out what I'll say to him. And he might read it, because it doesn't require talking to me."_ She had it figured out: Her solution. Ginny found a piece of spare parchment and a quill; she began writing.

"_Dear Harry,_

_I know I'm not your favorite person in the world right now (I don't blame you.), but could you please just read this? I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for not trusting you and I'm sorry for being a horrible girlfriend. I love you so much and you're the only one I'll ever love this way. The thing is I loved you so much that it scared me and I became paranoid that I'd lose you to your past. Please, just please forgive me. I want another chance, a chance to prove to you how much I really do love and trust you._

_Deepest Apologies,_

_Ginny"_

Ginny sighed to herself as she strolled up to the owlery the next morning. She attached her little roll of parchment to the leg of a tawny owl that seemed eager to have a job. "Make sure he gets this A.S.A.P. and keep pecking him until he reads it, if you must," Ginny whispered to the owl.

Around dinnertime that evening, Ginny was in the Gryffindor common room practicing her Transfiguration. She was alone as everyone else was in the Great Hall eating their supper. Tears were still streaming down her face as she tried to turn her parrot into a goblet. She hoped to death that the owl she had entrusted delivered the letter to Harry; She wished even more that he had read it.

Just as the thought was haunting her, the same owl she had asked to deliver her message flew to the window in the room. The window was slightly cracked open, but not enough so that the poor owl could fit through. "Did he write back?" She asked the owl as she opened the window. The owl hooted loudly as he landed on the table where Ginny had been working. He stuck his leg out so that Ginny could untie the roll of parchment. "Thanks," she said as she gave the owl a treat.

Bracing herself, Ginny sat down once more at the table where the future of her relationship would be determined. She took a deep breath and unrolled the paper.

"_Dear Ginny,_

_I know that you are sorry and I understand how you felt. A few years ago I probably would have believed your assumptions were true, that I fancied Cho in the place of you. However I entrusted you with my heart, my love. That love has been flung back into my face by false accusations from the one person I was supposed to love and trust above all others._

_It will take me time, but I may be able to eventually forgive you. But some things will never be the same; will never go back to normal._

_We can't go back to the way we were, and for this I apologize to you. I can't have my heartbroken the way it was again, and I can't even risk it. _

_Deepest Regrets,_

_Harry"_

Tears of pain, heartbreak, and regret poured out of Ginny's cheeks. She didn't care how she would look to anyone who entered the room to find her bawling. Honestly, she couldn't care less what anyone else thought of her right now. She had lost the love of her life… and she'd never get him back.

"'**Cause I can't fake**

**And I can't take**

**But it's my heart that's about to break**

**I'm on my knees**

**Watch me bleed**

**Would you listen, please?"**

Lyrics—1 & 2 Ashlee Simpson


End file.
